tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1856340050502074610.comments2009-09-25T13:51:59.091-07:00TheIdeaGirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06513153864582506659noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1856340050502074610.post-72455514828841422762009-09-25T13:51:59.091-07:002009-09-25T13:51:59.091-07:00Hey, Idea Girl - still thinking &#39;bout cha and can&#39;t wait to see you blogging again, wherever that may be.Roland Hulmehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08979437320446956987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1856340050502074610.post-67799239652549275922009-03-24T07:45:00.000-07:002009-03-24T07:45:00.000-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.notoriouslyinterestedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08052911841590777237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1856340050502074610.post-38802947721280845532009-03-21T11:44:00.000-07:002009-03-21T11:44:00.000-07:00Hi Idea Girl,<BR/><BR/>Glad to hear you are doing better. I understand the physical reaction to news about an ex that was supposed to be "the one". It will get easier as time goes by. Its good to see friends, they help.<BR/><BR/>I don't know about pot, I tried once, it didn't do anything so I stuck with booze. I was sober when I tried it so I know it wasn't a booze "cover" of the pot high. <BR/><BR/>Just be careful and keep taking care of you.Chrishttp://openid.aol.com/guitarguypanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1856340050502074610.post-85464187777951142832009-03-16T09:22:00.000-07:002009-03-16T09:22:00.000-07:00Oh Idea Girl, I know that feeling. Right now I feel totally isolated from everyone, friends, family, everyone. Its like there is no one who understands. But you just described perfectly what I am feeling, except for the "stood up by the therapist"<BR/><BR/>I would call your therapist and see if he can move you up in the week. Tell him you are in crisis. If that doesn't work, call the crisis hot-line. And failing that, go to the ER. I've done it. But talk to someone.<BR/><BR/>Don't quit on yourself.<BR/><BR/>And you did a good thing, if his "help" is to berate you, then you don't need that kind of help.<BR/><BR/>Keep writing here, I'll keep reading.Chrishttp://openid.aol.com/guitarguypanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1856340050502074610.post-40576252467138031132009-03-12T06:42:00.000-07:002009-03-12T06:42:00.000-07:00Idea Girl, <BR/><BR/>I get that feeling too. I'm dealing with something similar with a woman right now too. To have a chance of getting the relationship I want with her, I have to stay away. No calls, e-mails, texts, talking, snail-mail. Nothing. <BR/><BR/>And the distance and being patient won't guarantee me what I want, but I know that forcing contact WILL result in me not getting what I want. And is sucks.<BR/><BR/>She is one of my closest friends and she is one of the say, four people, who just instinctively understands me, so it hurts to be separated from her. And it hurts to know we've worked on this for a few years and it still requires this separation instead of conversation to resolve anything.Chrishttp://openid.aol.com/guitarguypanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1856340050502074610.post-7011735509341562342009-03-11T04:24:00.000-07:002009-03-11T04:24:00.000-07:00Interesting blog, great reading, I'll be back.<BR/><BR/>AV<BR/>http://netherregionoftheearthii.blogspot.com/Argentum Vulgarishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09352631648618434788noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1856340050502074610.post-24132606504684556872009-03-10T11:23:00.000-07:002009-03-10T11:23:00.000-07:00Liking one's self is always a yes and no type questions. Sometimes you do, and sometimes you don't. Right now it sounds like you don't, but you are getting help from Boy. He is putting you in a position to not like yourself. <BR/><BR/>I had an ex do that to me. Try to get me to not like myself so that I would change to become what she wanted so that I would like myself. Not with her any more.<BR/><BR/>You are in fact creative and you write well. Just because he doesn't think so doesn't mean the rest of the voters don't count. We read your blog, so clearly you have something to say which strikes a chord with us, and you communicate it to us in a way that we can appreciate.<BR/><BR/>And being liberal vs. Liberal is not something he gets to decide for you. You can support Israel and want to marry Jewish and still be liberal. Only Liberals want group think, true liberals are open to any reasonably moral, well argued position. <BR/><BR/>If marrying Jewish is important to you, it doesn't make you liberal or conservative. It makes you interested in marrying Jewish.<BR/><BR/>Sexy and smart are great qualities, don't sell them short. But at the same time I agree its a problem that he couldn't articulate the WHY he thought so. I am sorry to say that it seems to me he had no way to explain WHY because he thought saying "smart and sexy" was enough. Oddly I am feeling like the Merovingian from the Matrix talking about "Why", but I digress. <BR/><BR/>All the women I have dated were "smart and sexy" I don't date dumb and unattractive. But I can explain why I thought each one was smart and sexy, and how each of them were smart and sexy in different ways from each other.<BR/><BR/>Stay strong, keep seeing your doctor, and keep writing. We'll keep reading.Chrishttp://openid.aol.com/guitarguypanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1856340050502074610.post-27528322191083571802009-03-10T09:02:00.000-07:002009-03-10T09:02:00.000-07:00In all honesty, it sounds like he didn't understand or know you at all. I only know you from your blog, but I consider you edgy, definitely liberal and you're a great writer, with a creative way with words.<BR/><BR/>As for the depression - oh, boy! Everything I read your blog it speaks to me. I think I know how you feel at the moment. I'm in a similar funk and the 'problem' isn't anything or anybody else. It's just me. I don't like myself at the moment and am ashamed of some recent things that have occurred.<BR/><BR/>I don't know about a hobby. I think a change is what's called for. It's impossible to get out of a rut without some motivation.<BR/><BR/>Anyway, as always - stay strong. The more I read about this, the more it seems obvious that Boy was incredibly childish and not right for you. You deserve better.Roland Hulmehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08979437320446956987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1856340050502074610.post-30706143831522858182009-03-07T23:14:00.000-08:002009-03-07T23:14:00.000-08:00"You are not an emotional SWAT team." <BR/><BR/>Haha, my new favorite line!TheIdeaGirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06513153864582506659noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1856340050502074610.post-20528783531869416602009-03-07T10:26:00.000-08:002009-03-07T10:26:00.000-08:00No need to go busting through the door right away. You are not an emotional SWAT team. It takes time and work. You'll do that with your therapist. I have been trying to do just that with someone, and almost a year out, I still find times where "away" is better than "in contact". <BR/><BR/>And him not understanding distance vs. dismissal is something you can't make him understand, that's his problem.guitarguypahttp://openid.aol.com/guitarguypanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1856340050502074610.post-11206763394032889222009-03-06T10:09:00.000-08:002009-03-06T10:09:00.000-08:00Been there. Done that. Good to see I wasn't the only one! I successfully scared off my ex with text messages. Mobile phones should be locked up after a breakup for this reason. Stay strong!Roland Hulmehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08979437320446956987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1856340050502074610.post-30160668020716232092009-03-02T11:57:00.000-08:002009-03-02T11:57:00.000-08:00Stay strong. We're thinking of you.Roland Hulmehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08979437320446956987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1856340050502074610.post-62029337181083534172009-02-17T10:25:00.000-08:002009-02-17T10:25:00.000-08:00OH MY GOD - you're going to be a history teacher. <BR/><BR/>I'm sorry, I'm a history major, so in my mind that's just HOT.<BR/><BR/>In defense of The Boy, we men mature slower than you lovely ladies. I honestly because a decent partner proposition at about 28 or 29 - three years AFTER I got married.<BR/><BR/>First husbands are like first houses. They need a bit of 'fixin' up.'<BR/><BR/>The trick is to pick one who's in it for the long haul (as my wife pointed out to me, she'd be PISSED if after all the crap she endured and all the hard work she put into me, I left her for somebody else.)Roland Hulmehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08979437320446956987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1856340050502074610.post-14048637870985426152009-02-13T11:11:00.000-08:002009-02-13T11:11:00.000-08:00I'm sorry life is so difficult. I guess the only thing I can offer, as a person who you don't know and doesn't really know you, is strained old gems from the cliche drawer. "It doesn't rain, it pours" is the classic for justifying why everything seems to go to hell in a handbasket at the same time.<BR/><BR/>But one piece of advice I once got given DID make a difference: The only way OUT is THROUGH. Pretty much - if you're going through hell, keep on going.<BR/><BR/>Sometimes it seems impossible to believe it at the time, but things will get better and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Get away to the sun and space. Spend some time with yourself. You're a totally awesome, brilliant, smart and fascinating person and you deserve to rediscover all of that about yourself.<BR/><BR/>Yep, as I warned, nothing really practical or useful in this comment! But random people you don't even know are thinking about you, so while you might feel alone, perhaps in some way I can convince you that you're not.Roland Hulmehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08979437320446956987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1856340050502074610.post-75526773438247259782009-02-12T09:31:00.000-08:002009-02-12T09:31:00.000-08:00I used to call my ex-girlfriend and then hang up. It was fairly tragic and I cringe when I look back at that sort of behavior. But it means you're still on his mind.Roland Hulmehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08979437320446956987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1856340050502074610.post-68719570555553384842009-02-11T03:58:00.000-08:002009-02-11T03:58:00.000-08:00Hello Idea Girl! I'm sorry you've been having a crappy couple of months - but I look forward to reading whatever you feel comfortable sharing with us.Roland Hulmehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08979437320446956987noreply@blogger.com